My rules of Life


Some Times : By Santosh Bhatt

My rules of Life.

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. 

It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

 My odometer rolled over 28 so here is the column once more time 4 u. 

 1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. 

 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 

 3. Life is too short – enjoy it. 

 4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. 

 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 

 6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself. 

 7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

 8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 

 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 

 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 

 11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. 

 12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry. 

 13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 

 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. 

 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don’t worry, God never blinks. 

 16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 

 17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways. 

 18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. 

 19.. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else. 

 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. 

 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy clothes. And always wear clean panty or Brief.
Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special day. 

 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 

 23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple or Saffron.

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4. The most important sex organ is the brain. 

 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 

 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’ 

27. Always choose life. 

28. Forgive

 29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 

 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 

 32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 

 33. Believe in miracles. 

 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do. 

 35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 

 36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young. 

 37. Your children get only one childhood. 

 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 

 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. 

 41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need 

 42. The best is yet to come… 

 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 

 44. Yield. 

 45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

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“Why should I change my religion?


Some Times By ; Santosh Bhatt

I wonder why some people are upset with Mohan Bhagwat’s statement about Mother Teresa.

 He said the main objective behind her service was conversions. 

 That’s indeed true.

 In 1978, when anti-conversion bill was tabled in the Lok Sabha, she had tried to use all her might & influence into opposing the bill. 

 In 1995, she was on a dharna demanding reservations for converted Christians (which is against the constitution).

 That was the extent to which she could hijack politics to safeguard her missionary interests of conversions.

 True service is unconditional. 

You serve the society/people without expecting anything in return.

 But when you exploit people’s poverty and helplessness and expect them to convert, then you are not a social worker anymore.

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ou are a missionary. 

Being a missionary is not a crime anyway. 

 So what’s wrong in accepting it? Let’s accept that she was one of the greatest, persistent, hard working, caring missionary, but at the end of the day, she was a missionary and the main objective was conversions.

 

I do not want to compare but there are several organizations and philanthropists who are doing great service without expecting anything in return. 

 There are organizations which are providing free mid-day meals to poor kids, but they are not asked anything in return.

 There are philanthropists who provide service to the needy (including complex surgeries) and do not expect even a single rupee, nor do they expect them to get converted. 

 Forget conversion, they do not expect them to even write a testimonial or admiration for them. 

100% service, 0% expectation.

That is true service. 

In this context, I would like to share a quote by Mahatma Gandhi:

“because the doctor who professes Christianity as his religion has cured me of some disease, or why should the doctor expect me to change whilst I am under his influence?”
– Mahatma Gandhi (Young India: April 23, 1931)

Ah, the perils of teaching true values to a daughter.



Some Times : By Santosh Bhatt

Dear Rhea, Bhautik and Vaibhav.

 I hate myself for saying this — I really and truly do — but the fact is that I consider myself blessed and lucky simply because I haven’t borne a daughter! 

I say this despite the undeniable truth that a daughter is one of the most beautiful gifts of God, a wonderful miracle — loving, caring and truly amazing. 

A daughter brightens your day and warms your heart like no one else can. And yet…. I am glad that I do not have one. 

Because…
If I had a daughter , I’d get a panic attack every time she left the house, imagining all kinds of horrible things happening to her. 

I’d bite my nails in anxiety till she comes  home, thinking that something seismic and awful was happening to her.

 I’d throw a fit if her clothes showed some skin for fear that she’d be ravaged by wolves lurking at every corner. 

And every time her phone rang I’d wonder if it’s a guy and whether he’s the kind who can take care of her. 

I mean, I’d be miserable!! AND SO WOULD SHE!! Is that the kind of life I’d like for my daughter? 

 In our society, girls receive mixed messages all the time––on the one hand, they’re told that they can do anything and are no less than boys in any way (and girls have proved it too). 

At the same time, they are subjected to misogynistic gender-policing—“girls shouldn’t do this” or “girls shouldn’t wear such clothes”; yes, it is highly unfair and grossly annoying, 

but it cannot be wished away.

 Besides, we do not necessarily have to be on one side of the spectrum, a happy balance can always be worked out ! Like I’d definitely want my daughter to be decently dressed—NOT grandmotherly but NEITHER coquettishly;

 I’d like her to have the courage to move about on her own but not to do foolhardy things like staying out late or going to unknown destinations alone; 

and I’d surely encourage her to value the person, and not the gender, when making friends, but at the same time I’d ask her to look out for any red flags in a male friend’s behaviour because, after all, to be fore-warned is to be fore-armed. 

 And why should I be considered mothballed in pre-historic mustiness for asking her to set herself her own curfews when there ARE lecherous bastards out there with out-of-control libidos, and when even God has made her physically vulnerable? 

 Sure, she MUST learn self-defense tactics, but all said and done, that’s the way the cookie crumbles and looking out for her own safety doesn’t make her narrow-minded and old-fashioned, does it? 

 Ah, the perils of teaching true values to a daughter—after all this, I’d actually have to teach her about gender equality, 

in the sense that if she is given the freedom to follow her dreams, choose her career just as if she were a son, then she must not expect the “privileges” that come along with gender discrimination—boys lifting her luggage or standing in queue for her etc.

Because if gender is not about division of dreams, it is NOT a rigid demarcation of labour either.

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ough call, darling… but that’s how it is.

If I had a daughter, I would tell her that she’s here to blaze her own trail and not to live by others’ rules, that talent and capability transcend X and Y chromosomes and she ought to measure herself by who she is, and to celebrate her strengths. 

 I would tell her that many a time life will script itself differently than what she had planned but she should be able to take it on the chin and roll with the punches so that even if life comes up lemons she can still make lemonade !! 

 Though I’d always like to be in full lioness mode defending her cub, I know that I’d have to let her grow and find her wings, make her mistakes and learn from them, and learn to live with tough stuff at times.

 But I would like her to know that even though failures, rejections or difficult life events may seem insurmountable at the time they happen, they are just a new beginning and she should open her heart and let these new experiences in. 

 I have read and enjoyed fairy tales while I was growing up and I’d like her to do the same.

 But yes, I’d like to add a ‘disclaimer’ too—marriage is not to be something that she “has” to engage in and I’d prefer that she doesn’t wait for a knight in shining armour to come and fulfil all her dreams ;

s

he has to look for strength within her to deal with the bumps and curves on life’s road, grow up to be her own person and stand on her own feet and also figure out for herself what she wants in a friend, companion, and partner . 

 And yes, I’d have to set an example that she could follow—I’d have to be kind, caring and well-mannered in dealing with everyone, including the rude salesman at a shop or the slow-moving waiter at a restaurant or the inconsiderate car driver on the road because I know that my daughter would be watching me and learn to deal with people the way I’d be dealing with them. 

 Alas, all of the above is hypothetical for me because, like I said, I have not been blessed with a daughter.

 BUT I do have two sons and I MUST teach them to treat others’ daughters right! 

 Boys, I know, you are growing up in a culture where girls are not only under scrutiny but have also to shoulder the “blame” for the misdemeanour of boys! 

Of course, we parents need to protect our girls, but we also have to start teaching our boys how to do the same because, no matter what,

“boys will be boys”

is no excuse. 

It is never OK to disrespect girls, and it is their job, as gentlemen, to see that that doesn’t happen.

Fortunately, I have spelt out the basics for my sons by telling them that respecting girls means that they must remember that girls are persons with feelings and are not objects, they should be listened to, their limits must be respected and their reputation must be protected, not marred.

I hope I have been able to instil the right values in my sons, not only for their own sake but for the sake of the precious daughters of our society.

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